Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You ruined the universe
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
