God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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