is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
