is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
