it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
