I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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