This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
