Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
