I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
