did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
