When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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