I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
