My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
