I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
