When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
