Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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