oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
