This girl is more easily done than said...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
