I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
