living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
