Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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