People in love make me want to vomit
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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