Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
