If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
