apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
