So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
