Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
