You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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