grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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