threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
