so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
