Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
