I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
