I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
