My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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