kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
