Plan B is the new Plan A
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
