I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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