This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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