He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
