have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
