would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
