I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
