I intend to get homeless drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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