Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
