check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
