**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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