hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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