We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
