it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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