I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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