Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
